April 21, 2005

April 21, 2005 was the day my life changed forever.  It was the day my mom suddenly passed away from a heart attack and entered the Eternal Kingdom, leaving us all behind to figure out life without her.  I had talked to her only a few hours before she died, but did not know it was the last time I would ever hear her voice.  If I had known, I would not have let her off the phone.  I would have told her how much she meant to me and how much I loved her.  If I had known, I would not have been pre-occupied and I would have remembered her every word.  If I had only known..... 

After finding out she was already gone, I can remember every detail.  I remember what I said, how I felt and what each room in my parent's house looked like.  I remember the panic, the confusion,  the sadness and the shock.  Five years later, I still feel many of the same emotions.....the sadness is just as strong and I yearn to hear her voice.

 

I wish my kids had memories of their grandma.  We found out we were pregnant with Shaylah only two months after my mom passed away.  It was always a regret of mine that we didn't start our family sooner, but we didn't know what the future was going to bring.  The kids know what she looked like, they can hear her play piano hymns on her CD, they know her favorite color was pink and they know she loved to help people.  They listen to my memories of her, but they never knew her as a person.  I will always be sad about that.

Each of the kids picked out a flower to give to her today.  She is still greatly missed and loved.

Remembering and loving you Mom.  Today and always!

Nap time (just my opinion)

This is a rare sight for my little man, but isn't he cute?  Occasionally the kids will fall asleep in the car if we are driving anywhere in the late afternoon, but none of them want to nap anymore.  I also find that if they fall asleep during the day, it is much harder to get them to bed at night or to get them to sleep through the night, so daytime naps were abandoned long ago.  I enjoy not having to be tied to a daytime sleeping schedule and am thankful for the flexibility that has brought to my day.  I no longer have to be home by noon, so it is OK if we are a little late leaving the house to go out in the mornings.  Also, we can stay if we are having a good time somewhere.  It is hard for many moms to get rid of the daytime nap, because it is the only time during the day that a mom gets any "me" time, but I way prefer having that time in the evening once they have all gone to bed at an early hour.  It is always my advice to others who are having trouble getting kids to sleep at night.....get rid of the daytime nap!  It works wonders!!!  (obviously it is not the answer for all sleep problems, but always worth a try)

Rules!

Shaylah

Shaylah seems to be growing up so quickly.  She is definitely not a little girl anymore.  It is not that she has finally hit the 40 pound mark and is quickly growing out of her size 5 clothes;  it is her mannerisms and behaviour that let me know she is getting too big, too fast.  She has started picking out her own clothes and getting herself dressed, she is helping out with her younger siblings and celebrates with them when they learn something new, and she listens to directions and loves to follow rules.  For example, today we had 2 researchers come to our house to do some assessments on aggresion and community involvement in young children.  I was in one room answering a million questions, while Shaylah was doing some activities with the second researcher in another room.  I could hear them playing "Simon Says" and when the girl said to Shaylah "now stick out your tongue", Shaylah's response was "No, it is not nice to stick out your tongue"!.  She also refused to do the coloring activity in the living room because she knows I don't like the kids to color in there.  She brought the girl to her coloring table instead.  I was quite impressed!  I guess kids really do listen to their parents afterall.  :)